Is a Destination Wedding Right for You?

Many couples love the idea of being married on a gorgeous beach at sunset, or in a wonderfully historic and romantic setting far away from the humdrum of every day life.

A destination wedding can fulfill numerous dreams and fantasies, but in reality, it's not for everyone. Many more couples explore the possibility of having a destination wedding than actually go through with one.

With this in mind, how does one determine if a destination wedding is indeed appropriate? To help figure this out, consider the following list of issues and questions at the beginning of the planning process.

A destination wedding may be right for you if…

1. You intend to invite a small group of people

It's much easier to have a wedding away when you expect to invite a small group of people you care about and know will join you. A smaller group simplifies the logistical planning, and will make it easy for everyone to get to the beach on time!

2. Your invitees live out of town and/or are dispersed around the country

Are they going to have to travel to your wedding no matter where you have it, whether in Peoria or Puerto Rico? If so, it may not be that difficult for them to take another day to join you in a slightly more exotic destination.

3. You are interested in a nontraditional wedding experience

You have already been to your fair share of "traditional" weddings, and you know this is not how you wish to spend your wedding day. Alternative ideas such as a castle, a seascape or a foreign land sound particularly appealing to you.

4. The idea of combining your wedding and honeymoon is appealing

If you like the idea of being on your honeymoon immediately following your wedding without a lot of additional travel, a destination wedding could be the ticket. No travel, no hassle.

If you can identify with the above points, consider these as well…

1. Will your family and friends join you?

When considering having your wedding away from home, it is important to look at who you want to have with you on your wedding day - parents, grandparents, siblings, friends?

When planning a wedding that requires significant travel, some people are not as likely to attend, even when invited. If your college roommate can't join you, how will you feel? More importantly, what about your close family? If your grandmother is not willing or able to travel the distance, are you comfortable not having her there? These are questions that every couple needs to consider. The answers are, of course, very specific to your personal situation.

So, a little bit of polling within the family and friends you care about should be done up front. If you can't convince them, and their presence on your wedding day is important, a destination wedding may not make a lot of sense.

Conversely, some couples choose to elope or have a destination wedding precisely because it will shorten the guest list, or potentially diffuse a difficult family situation. In this instance, it may be the perfect solution for your wedding plans!

2. Costs

One of the most appealing aspects of a destination wedding is that it will often cost much less than a traditional wedding at home. In general, this is due to the fact that fewer people attend, and the local vendor options are simpler and less expensive.

There are two sides to the cost question - the actual wedding arrangements are likely to be less for you and your families, but guests often bear a larger financial burden because of additional travel-related costs. In line with point #1 above, this can potentially reduce the size of your guest list, including some people you most want to join you. In this scenario, are you willing to subsidize certain people so they can attend? Definitely a factor to consider as you think about having your wedding away from home.

3. Are you a control freak?

When planning a wedding in a far-off locale, it is important to remember that you will not have as many vendor choices as you would at home, nor will you have as much control of the actual outcome since most planning is taking place from a distance. For people that can "go with the flow" and tend not to sweat the details, this is great because decisions are usually less time consuming and stressful.

For those who can't quite let go, consider these real-life scenarios:

• There may be no way to visit the actual wedding location, taste the food, or get to know the minister or officiant who will marry you before you arrive. Is this acceptable to you?

• Flower choices on distant islands can be minimal, and some varieties may have to be flown in just for your wedding. If your favorite flower somehow doesn't make the flight, how will you feel?

• Time moves at a different pace in many alternative wedding locations - emails may go unanswered, questions may be partially addressed, telephone calls will sometimes not be returned. Can you handle some ambiguity, perhaps even weeks of not having a signed catering contract to secure your event?

• If you want a beach wedding, there may be no way to keep non-guests from wandering by during the ceremony as beaches in many countries are considered public property. How do you feel about random people in their bathing suits watching as you say your vows?

• What emphasis do you place on the quality of photography and video? Like florists, there may be only one or two photographers in a given location, and neither is a master when it comes to photojournalistic style. Are you willing to accept this situation, or would you rather pay the added expense of "flying in" a different photographer?

If control and managing every detail are important, you may be better off planning your event in a place where you can meet the people, evaluate their work and ask questions to your own satisfaction.

4. Are you willing to put in the effort?

Destination weddings are often billed as easy and carefree. While this is particularly true for an elopement, and also true in comparison to a traditional wedding, there is still a significant amount of planning and preparation that must be worked through, especially if you plan to have guests in attendance.

You still need to be in the right frame of mind to handle some details and decisions. For example, for a regular wedding, guests are mostly responsible for their own travel. For a foreign destination, you may have to be a lot more involved in your guests' travel and room arrangements.

In Summary

Deciding if a destination wedding is right for you will require an assessment of all of the above items. Your frame of mind, guest situation and budget will all play an important role. Evaluating each of these components, and making sure you are comfortable with what you learn, will help you understand if this unique experience is indeed the right way to commemorate your wedding day.